Supa Nuttz (driftsideout) wrote,
Supa Nuttz

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Extremely disappointing day, everything that can go wrong went wrong. I didn't get the S14 because it has already been sold. Then the S13 we went to check out was so fucked up that it was worthless. Damn hood had foot prints all over it. Like some had stomped on the hood just to close it. Looked like a car from a pick-n-pull yard. The day with J Ian was good but I felt she was trying to say good-bye to me. Everything that happened today lead to my belief. Quiet conversations when we ate till I got home, any conduct of contact felt like it was prohibited, and no kiss. =( I guess I can't be selfish and a part of me feel so empty right now like I lost someone that is very important and special. My legs feel a little numb and a little weak, hard to explain but its just the way it is. My chest feel a little heavy... I know a remedy... ALCOHOL!!!! Just kidding! I'm not an alcoholic! I thought by exerting my feelings in this journal will put me at ease but it has not. It only clarified and validated my feelings and thoughts. So much to put down but I can't put most of them into words.

...those who have the patients are those who are reciprocated...
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