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Supa Nuttz's Journal [entries|friends|calendar]
Supa Nuttz

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[22 Aug 2003|06:46pm]
[ mood | sad ]

It's been a while since I've last written in this journal. I wonder if anyone at all reads this stuff or is this merely a tool used as a reminder of ones demeaning life. I guess from what I just wrote tells a story of misfortune and angst against one self. All in all it was a great experience, something I would never do again, but that's not the reason for this entry. Time is always an essence we can't let it pass by. We can not take advantage; we must step up to the plate and aim for what we want. So dought and wonder will never seek us.

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=( [23 Jul 2003|12:51am]
[ mood | sad ]

Extremely disappointing day, everything that can go wrong went wrong. I didn't get the S14 because it has already been sold. Then the S13 we went to check out was so fucked up that it was worthless. Damn hood had foot prints all over it. Like some had stomped on the hood just to close it. Looked like a car from a pick-n-pull yard. The day with J Ian was good but I felt she was trying to say good-bye to me. Everything that happened today lead to my belief. Quiet conversations when we ate till I got home, any conduct of contact felt like it was prohibited, and no kiss. =( I guess I can't be selfish and a part of me feel so empty right now like I lost someone that is very important and special. My legs feel a little numb and a little weak, hard to explain but its just the way it is. My chest feel a little heavy... I know a remedy... ALCOHOL!!!! Just kidding! I'm not an alcoholic! I thought by exerting my feelings in this journal will put me at ease but it has not. It only clarified and validated my feelings and thoughts. So much to put down but I can't put most of them into words.

...those who have the patients are those who are reciprocated...

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Another day [19 Jul 2003|03:06pm]
[ mood | content ]

I did not get home till about 1:30am from work. I hope the person who has the S14 still available. Hmmm... Chris and Shelly should be back soon they went with their mother somewhere. I can't help but to sit here and think about J Ian. Thinking about all the times we spent together and everyday that is spent with her is truly treasured. When we see each other there is little time, so I try to make the most of that little time we do spend together. I really miss her! I talked to her earlier in the day but I still miss her voice and her laugh. It is so comforting and puts me to ease when I hear from her. Damn, what did I eat today? Lets see... had lugaw, some kind of tempura shrimp, and pancit bihon. Then later on in the day I had some tosilog. Hmmm... that didn't make any sense I should have had tosilog first in the beginning of the day then the lugaw, pancit and shrimp.

...a heart without a mind...is a mindless heart living...a living mindless heart is love...

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Tuesday... [15 Jul 2003|09:58pm]
[ mood | calm ]

Practically a waste of a day. I'd stayed home all day and did nothing productive what so ever. The only joy was talking with J Ian P. I hope to get that S14 by the end of this week. The only issue with the car are the fenders. They are grey looking because the owner of the car had them replaced due to recent damage. If not I'll probably end up getting a S13 instead. Jennifer called and we talked for a little while. She was asking me if J Ian P was with me. I wish she was with me.

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*823* [14 Jul 2003|11:16pm]
[ mood | content ]

Missing you!
Wanting you!
Needing you!

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A fork in the road... [14 Jul 2003|04:03pm]
[ mood | lonely ]

Defiance of rationale and oblique from reason, how does one go through with an action that is against all of ones will? How is one mans belief so strong, impenetrable, and yet so volatile?

...all ones ends to a start of a new means...so fragile it can be lost with an blink of an eye...and yet we embrace the very essence of what we can not hold...

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=) [10 Jul 2003|12:06am]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

WOW! She drove all the way to see me! Lovely outfit today, it did not look like pajamas at all! It's not the distance of travel that wooed me but the mere fact that she took the risk to drive all that way to see me. =) Sushi was good and she's great company to have in any event, whether it's dinning or just hanging around. I felt a kind of bad when I had her wait for me while I was finishing up my work, but I'm glad that she did. The introduction to my staff was one event I will never forget. Everyone said she is fantastic, wonderful, and attractive. This means a great deal to me because I do not share a lot with co-workers. And they are always wondering about my personal life. The trip home was also fantastic I drove her to my place then she drove home from there. The mere fact of being with her and sharing a part of me justifies my affection towards her.

...the first tender touch... the first longing kiss... two hearts finding their destiny creating a love to remember forever...

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Fruit for thought [08 Jul 2003|07:44pm]
[ mood | lonely ]

I had a great lunch today with J Ian P. She looked fantastic and radiant in her black suite. I loved the look of her hair and the smile that complemented. I wish we could had spent a little more time together but just meeting her for lunch is enough to satisfy my appetite. We had a constructive conversation of our situation. My ultimate thought of our conversation would be the unendurability to lose her in any way or form. Hmm... Am I in denial about the way I truly feel? NO! I know how I feel, it's not denial; it's more of acceptance. The question should be... Will she accept that and embrace me? The choices and decisions we make today will shape our future in our endeavors. Well... let faith and destiny take its toll and hope for the best.

...Think of life as a grain of sand and before you realize it, all the sand had seep through your palm and only then is when we try to grasp hold of the last grain...never letting it go...hoping it never dissipate...is it too late?

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Good day [07 Jul 2003|03:54pm]
[ mood | happy ]

I am having a great day! I was so estatic to hear from J Ian P this morning while she was driving to work. Ok... I'm day dreaming again...

~~~...I place my hand upon her gentle face as I gazed into her placid eyes and kissed her dithered lips...~~~


I can not get that unforgettable smile out of thought.

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J IAN P [04 Jul 2003|05:03pm]
[ mood | happy ]

Wow it has been a while since I've written an entry in this journal. During the course of my last entry I was left with a void; an emptieness that kept me amist. It was not until the 28th of May was this "emptiness" satiated. Six to seven years had lapsed and it is God-sent that I had this second opportunity to for take. Since the 28th, my life has been blessed. I just want to say thank you, because you are someone truely extremely special and unique. We share many of the same interests and yet still have an abundance of differences. I love your smile especially with your timidly shy eyes when I gaze into them. You bring a hault of breath when I hear your voice.

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Mourning... [08 Feb 2003|06:09pm]
[ mood | thankful ]

It is sad to see we take life for granted. All these materialistic, tangible, monetary items we call wants are not any necessity in our lives, but we strive to achieve them and yet with each stride we forget how important life is. And the unimportant becomes important and the important becomes the unimportant...perhaps its our miscontent...Only until a brother, friend, or a son fall, it is only then we recognize that life is too short and we must live it to the fullest.

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Nothing much... [18 Jan 2003|01:16pm]
[ mood | okay ]

Damn it sucks when you don't have a car, but you just make the best of it. Need another car...BAD!!! Z is messing up bad. Lets see..Needs new Fuel regulater, fuel pump, a/c compressor, idler, new belts, new radiator, new seats, seat rack with motors, new passenger electronic motor for window, T-Top molding, Door molding, new cowl panels, new left vent panel, new clock, and other shit I didn't mention. Hmmm... I'm thinking of European now like a Mercedes or BMW, Yeah right! Like I can afford one! Thats a good one... Well... We will see what will happen.

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Today... [11 Jan 2003|07:53pm]
[ mood | blah ]

Picked up Chris and Shelly and planned to go to Malibu but my brother borrowed my car and Malibu didn't happen. Today was ok not much to complain about other than the fact my lawyer won't do shit for me no more. Other than that everything is great. Damn!, low on cash again! Every pay check is spent damn!!! I got to find more money some how, Oh well... None productive day today. Fianlly heard from Kim, she put me on the guest list to club En V. Put I got work tomorrow moring at 7am so I won't be able to make it to En V. Anyone wants to buy an 2 din Alpine? Retail at 1200 but the sale price is 500. Haven't heard from Eirc or John lately. Hmmm... I'd better shut up now!

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Nothing much... [10 Jan 2003|03:46pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

Whew got most of my shit done today. Found out my lawyer wont do shit anymore. Over all everything is cool.

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Grief...Kim... [08 Jan 2003|02:08am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

This day is dedicated to the Sherod family. The unfortunate death of your grandmother has sadden us all. Even though I have never meet your grandmother, I can sympathize a lost of a love one. May god watch over you and keep you strong through this time of grief. If you need anything just let me know...

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Late New Years Resolution... [05 Jan 2003|09:27am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

Well it's kind of late for my resolutions for the new year, oh well... This year I hope I can uphold the following resolutions.

1. Save a lot of money (yeah right!)
2. Save more money (yeah right!)
3. Save some money (yeah right!)
4. Save a little bit of money (ok)
5. Buy another car (hmmm...)
6. Go to Stanford and take a course (not what you think)
7. Buy a new computer (this one sucks!)
8. Self improvememt
9. Capitalize on entrepreneurial ventures. (???)
10. Have more fun!

I think these commandments are attainable without a reasonable doubt.

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Just another Saturday [04 Jan 2003|02:38pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

Got my turntables back yesterday!!!!! Yeehawwwww!!!!! I haven't seen them for almost a year!!!! Feels so good to get them back. Only complaint is the Vestax 06Pro Mixtick. John lost the power supply and it took me forever to get another one. Went to radio shack hoping to get a crappy power supply but they didn't carry 15volts so I had to go to some electrical store. Not only did I had to buy it there but I had to pay the guy to reverse the polarity on the power supply because the mixer specified that. End result is an additional labor and parts for changing a standard 15volt power supply to a reversed polarity 15volt power supply. Wheew!... This is confusing me but none the less the extent ways I go to get shit working!!!!

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First entry [01 Jan 2003|07:03pm]
[ mood | content ]

Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you Ainsley for my account!!!!!

Hey Kim Im sorry to hear that you had a crappy New Years Eve. I was sure you went to the Absolute After Party. Well my New Years Eve sucked the most this year. I had work and didn't get off till about the 2am new years day. But there was a New Years Eve Latin Ball party Wild 94.9 hosted. The shit was phat there was a lot of latin hits with live bands from South America and a few fights arroused durning the event. What would one expect from massive party as such. Never the less, my New Years Eve sucked. Didn't do shit today but sleep, woke up and felt like going back to sleep again. Oh well... Hey Ainsley I want to thank you again for my account if it werent for you this entry would have not been possible... Hahaha sounds like an award speech anyways...

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